After exclusively revealing some training notes from our secret senior managers training recently and getting away with it, I thought I’d share another memo which I’ve received. These are designed to prepare me for life as a senior manager in the future, so I’ve been asked to memorise as much as possible and start using it on a regular basis.
Any of this sound familiar?
There’s nothing we like more at We Love Local Government Towers than a good game on a Friday afternoon. Okay, perhaps we like biscuits a little more, but games are a very close second. With that in mind, here is a very simple game which can be played today at no additional cost to you or those around you. It’s easy to play, and can be amended to suit your own needs very easily.
Below is a list of words or phrases which we are getting a little tired of hearing thrown around meetings, usually by someone attempting to sound more clever than they actually are. Some or jargonistic, others are simply meaningless, but all have a special circle of our own hells reserved for them.
But words themselves are not evil – it’s how they are used that’s the problem, so we want you to use them for good rather than evil. Simply print them out and take them with you into your next meeting – the more people in it the better – and use as many as you can. They must be used appropriately and without others noticing; oh, and the only way to win is to get them all in during a single meeting.
Last week the cuddly entrepreneur and TV personality Lord Sir Alan Sugar fired the pleasingly accented Azhar from the midweek warm up act for Dara O’Briain’s ‘You’re Fired’, the Apprentice.
What was Azhar’s crime? Well, according to the editing crew at the Apprentice it was using the word ‘strategy’ one time every five minutes when everyone knows that the Apprentice is a seat of the pants ‘JFDI’ sort of experience.
In fairness to Azhar he took the firing fairly well and then proceeded to drop the ‘s’ bomb about fifteen times during the much more enjoyable follow up show. He also revealed that his knowledge of strategy is built from his rather successful refrigeration business which seems to be making him a fair bit of money.
As is often the case this got me thinking. To what extent does having a stated strategy actually matter? After all, as Jade (Azhar’s surviving project manager) would often point out, what’s the point of all this strategy if it prevents you from making decisions and getting on with it?